characterhate | BIZZARRO TIME

Yes! She is a perfect, fair young maiden!

...but you, good sir, need to keep your distance. A homewrecker like you will not be tolerated in our beautiful, miracle romance!

HAHAHA! Yeah, Zach is like Seiya. A good replacement, but not good enough.

>:D

*DRAMATIC GASP OF DOOM*

Tuxedo Wank Man! I-it's not what it looks like, I promise! He and I are platonic life partners...it's those other horrible members who spread those ugly rumors about us! *sob*

Do not worry, my love, I believe you! It's him whose motives I question...!

-Tuxedo Wank Man

*CLINGS in the most dramatic fashion* He's a good man, I promise! He has never laid a single hand on me in a sexual fashion!

YES. Get the popcorn and candies, guys, this is the moment we've been all waiting for!

¥Kaede

*throws popcorn* FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT, Y' BASTARDS! *cheers*

...Could someone send him the links of her latest behavior since he was gone, PLEASE?

}Kevin

He'll defend her. He always does.

...Is that a challenge?

I'm not saying that like it's a good thing. This IS the guy who thinks a woman in a tank top is a dirty harlot.

Kevin, if you wouldn't mind...

I'll gladly help you tagteam this Tuxedo Wank Man.

Chrom

Re: ESMERALDA

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-04 16:23 (UTC) - Expand

Exalt Chrom of Ylisse

I dispute the canonicity of your "romance". You have been absent for over a year with no trace. Meanwhile, your supposed true love has been besieged during all that time, and you haven't lifted a finger to aid her.

our beautiful[citation needed], miracle[citation needed] romance[citation needed]!

It's okay Zach, Patrick'll comfort you after Essie goes back to Tuxedo Wank Man.

~~*spits fire*~~
It's not over until the fat lady si-

...Did that kindergarten teacher just start humming Barney tunes?

Close. "Kumbaya".

So you are the wicked mad man who swayed her!

If you must know, Sailor Bimbo caused me to be shipped to an island for a crime I did not commit, and that is why I've been so absent. I bravely escaped so I could return to the side of my love!

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU ESCAPE, YOU STRAIGHT PIECE OF SHIT?!

SB... I have to know.

What crime WAS he accused of, just as an idea of what happened?

-Chastity

he was charged for being a faggy lodser with a tiny dick

SHUT UP, BREEDER! Or must I now make good on my threat? *holds up scissors*

Stay back, you fiend! I will not allow you to lay a hand on Esmeralda!